SAN ANGELO, TX — In an unsurprising discovery, local boomer Susan Leigh’s iPhone photo album was revealed to be exclusively made up of accidental screenshots.
Previously unaware that her phone could take still photographs, Mrs. Leigh stumbled upon the “Photos” icon this morning and found the contents deeply disturbing. “Ben!!” she yelled at her husband in the other room. “Ben! I think I’ve been hacked! Somehow my phone has been taking pictures of everything I’ve been doing! This is bad, Ben – bad! If they can take a picture of my meatloaf recipe, I’m sure they’ve taken pictures of all 92 of our different login usernames and passwords! It’s probably in the hands of the Chinese right now! Oh, this never would have happened if Trump were still President. What do we do?”
After a brief discussion, Mr. and Mrs. Leigh immediately set to work cancelling their credit cards, shutting down their bank accounts, and smashing their modem with a hammer. Mrs. Leigh then called her son Jim to share the bad news and ask what else should be done to keep the Chinese hackers at bay.
Dutiful son that he is, Jim Leigh drove immediately over to his parents’ home, and upon review found that of the 947 photos on Mrs. Leigh’s phone, precisely 947 were unintentional screenshots. The pictures ranged from a pre-meatloaf grocery list to a google search entitled, “What Does The Word ‘Bussin’ Mean And Is It Racist”. Jim then explained what a screenshot was, and then explained it again, and then a few more times until his parents finally understood.
Their culture is not your costume. DO NOT appropriate ghost, zombie, or vampire culture this Halloween.
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Babylon Bee
Jesus Christ is King
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