Jesus' Coming Back

Biden Campaign Downplays Importance Of Winning Election

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WASHINGTON—Responding to a recent New York Times/Siena College poll that found the president trailing Donald Trump in almost every key battleground state, officials from Joe Biden’s 2024 campaign downplayed the importance of winning the election next year. “We’re not going to waste our time fretting over the numbers from some poll, especially when securing a second term for President Biden isn’t really a high priority for us right now,” said Biden campaign manager Julie Chávez Rodriguez, explaining there was a lot more for the campaign to do besides obsess over who would win the most votes in the Electoral College and dictate U.S. policy for the next four years. “A lot of people are going to argue that we ought be rallying voters to support Joe Biden so we can prevent Trump from retaking the White House, but honestly, next year’s race isn’t that big of a deal for us. After all, if the president doesn’t win this time around, he’d still be eligible to run in 2028. And even if he never gets to be president again, there are plenty of other things Joe Biden can do besides occupy the Oval Office. So vote, don’t vote—we really don’t care.” Asked by reporters to name the campaign’s top priority, Chávez Rodriguez said her team was mostly focused on making sure the president didn’t die ahead of 2024.

The Onion

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