Brought to you by Brave Books:
Libraries are a beacon of knowledge and intellectual pursuit in a civilized society. Or at least they used to be — libraries have changed a lot.
Let’s take a look at some of the biggest changes in libraries over the years…
Then: Sweet old lady librarian.
Now: Sweet old lady librarian with a beard named Jeff.
Then: Children checked out books.
Now: Groomer librarian checks out children.
Then: You could find any book with the Dewey Decimal System.
Now: Same but all the books are gay.
Then: Greek architecture supported by load-bearing pillars.
Now: Load-bearing stripper poles.
Then: Kids said, “Books are gay” because they hated reading.
Now: Kids say, “Books are gay” because the books are gay.
Then: Apple IIe with Oregon Trail. Oops! You have died of dysentery.
Now: Same Apple IIe, but with gay porn.
Then: There were 9 planets, as you could learn from any of the astronomy books.
Now: There are still 9 planets, but all the dumb books say there are only 8 for some dumb reason.
Then: Newspapers were stored on microfiche.
Now: Newspapers are stored online. Dang, microfiche was pretty cool too. It made you feel like a spy when researching old newspaper editions. And what are you supposed to do if you need to look up the history of your potentially haunted house now? Not search through hundreds of newspaper issues for the one relevant article detailing a murder that happened on your property a hundred years ago? That’s dumb.
Then: Mark Twain was a recommended author.
Now: Mark Twain is a recommended author to burn in effigy.
Then: Large section of history books.
Now: There is no history, only an endless present in which the Party is always right.
This is by no means an exhaustive list. If one were to fully chronicle the changes in libraries it would fill volumes. Who has time for that?
NOT SATIRE: What if Growing Pains was shot in 2023? In Kirk Cameron’s humorous remake “Grooming Pains,” a father asks his son, “How was school?” Here is his response: “It was great! We practiced the “Pride of Allegiance,” We learned about girl math and boy math, and we recited the black national anthem. Football ran long today because it was our first practice with Krystyna playing quarterback for the first time!”
Even as a joke, this isn’t too far off from the crazy world we live in… It’s a sad reality that so many forms of entertainment have been taken over by woke agendas. Now is the time to find alternatives for our children to grow up with and enjoy without being brainwashed.
Enter BRAVE Books! THE Christian children’s book company that only publishes pro-God, pro-America content. BRAVE’s latest release was authored by Kirk Cameron and is titled The Fox, the Fair, and the Invention Scare on the topic of loving your enemies. Get it for FREE when you subscribe to get a new book each month through the Freedom Island Book Club. BRAVE is THE alternative entertainment for parents wanting good, wholesome books for their kids!
Get a FREE copy of Kirk Cameron’s book!
Their culture is not your costume. DO NOT appropriate ghost, zombie, or vampire culture this Halloween.
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Babylon Bee
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