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Terrible Mother Lets Herself Feel Moment Of Peace Mere Decade After Son’s Death

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STURGEON BAY, WI—Drawing widespread condemnation for her brazen display of heartlessness, local mother Erin Markowitz reportedly let herself feel a moment of peace Tuesday a mere decade after her son’s death. “Jesus, all it takes is 10 years of therapy and constant mourning for your son, and suddenly you’re fine letting a tiny sliver of grace steal across your consciousness?” reported stunned sources, who described the 70-year-old mom as an “absolute monster” for breathing a timid sigh of acceptance over her morning coffee and feeling—rather than the crushing sorrow that had filled her routine for years—an iota of understanding that she had done all she could. “Did you even love your son? Even a little? Clearly you didn’t if you aren’t haunted by unyielding shame. And you’re taking a little solace from still having your other loved ones to lean on in your worst hours? God, you’re disgusting. You’re absolutely disgusting.” At press time, the sources expressed satisfaction after the peaceful three seconds instantly plunged the woman into a deep sense of guilt and she started softly weeping.

The Onion

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