MONTREAL – At 7:42 PM on Tuesday, McGill University student, Kathleen Beauce, sent an email to her friends, family, and favorite professors detailing her plans to take a year off school to backpack through The Bay.
After receiving mostly well-wishes from the email recipients, Ms. Beauce spent the rest of the week planning and packing for what she hopes will be a year of hardcore adventure and self-discovery. “I’m just not sure if I should pack this many pairs of socks… What if they’re having a 40% off sale and I just buy socks there?” enquired the 22 year old Anthropology major.
Kathleen’s parents have mixed feelings about their daughter’s year-long excursion through the 6 floors of luxury retail goods. “I’m a little concerned about the impulsivity of the whole thing. Does Kathleen have the right paperwork for this kind of a trip? Does she have a Bay rewards card to accumulate points?” said Janice, Kathleen’s mother.
Janice, herself, took a similar trip in her 20s but explains that “Times have changed.” and that “You need to be more careful these days. The fabric-lined aisles of the Bay take most Canadians a lifetime to master.”
“Obviously, I have a rewards card. I’m not 14 anymore,” clarified Kathleen as she packed a pair of climbing shoes, in the event any of the department store’s 18 escalators would be out of order.
“I just can’t wait to take my first steps through the picturesque perfume kiosks and breathe in that crisp, over-scented air being sprayed on me by luxury fragrance brand ambassadors. I wonder if Jean Paul Gaultier has any new releases….” Pondered the eager adventurer.
“Some 10 000 Canadians make the journey from beauty to home furniture every year but it’s not for the faint of heart,” explains Bay manager, Louise Tournant. “I see it all the time. A bright-eyed backpacker comes in here beaming with excitement, and by the time they hit floor 3, they’re ready to call it quits.”
“Quitting”, says Kathleen, “is not an option. I’m ready for a challenge. I’m going to do this. I’m going to prove I can be independent and make it on my own out there in the great indoors.”
Jesus Christ is King
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