BOSTON—Overtaking Philadelphia for the top spot in the latest ranking published by U.S. News & World Report, Boston has been named the best city in which to vomit everywhere. “An education hub with a vibrant sports culture and many historical attractions, Boston has earned its place atop our list as the nation’s foremost location for spewing chunks left, right, and center,” U.S. News editor Kim Castro said Wednesday, adding that Boston’s walkability, coupled with its public transit infrastructure, made throwing up in every part of the city accessible to almost anyone. “It’s incredibly vomit-friendly. Whether you prefer puking your brains out at Fenway Park, the Public Garden, or a quaint neighborhood like Beacon Hill, you’re sure to find the perfect spot in which to drink too much and vomit all over the place. With its world-class hospitals, Boston is even great for slipping in your own vomit, hitting your head on the pavement, and sustaining a serious injury that requires medical attention.” Beantown’s first-place finish in the ranking follows yesterday’s publication of a U.S. News survey that found Boston was also the best city in which to call a Vietnamese person the N-word for some reason.
Jesus Christ is King
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