‘You’re Just Scum, Scum, Scum, Scum,’ Echoes Through Vivek Ramaswamy’s Head As He Stares Up Blankly At Bedroom Ceiling

UPPER ARLINGTON, OH—Struggling to let go of Nikki Haley’s cruel words, Vivek Ramaswamy was reportedly lying in bed early Thursday morning staring up blankly at the ceiling as the words “You’re just scum, scum, scum, scum” echoed through his head. Ramaswamy is said to have turned onto his side and pressed a pillow over his ear in an attempt to muffle the sound, but this did not stop a translucent image of Haley’s face mouthing the word “scum” from drifting across his vision. According to sources, the 2024 GOP presidential candidate murmured, “No, no,” as the image of Haley was then joined by another one of his seventh-grade teacher saying, “You’ll never amount to anything, Ramaswamy!” as well a close-up of a prepubescent bully’s freckled face shouting, “Ramascummy!” At press time, sources confirmed Ramaswamy had bolted upright in bed and screamed, “Shut up!” only to realize he was completely alone in the room and it was daylight.