Jesus' Coming Back

National Zoo Pandas Return To China

Three giant pandas departed the Smithsonian National Zoo in Washington, D.C. back to China, an indication of colder ties between the two nations and marking the end of more than 50 years of Chinese pandas being housed at the zoo. What do you think?

“Who will we artificially inseminate now?”

Catya Tate, Votive Distributor

“So there are three job openings?”

Ian Linden, Dolly Puller

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“Maybe we can borrow some animals from Iran instead.”

Brett Soora, Hospital Cleaner

The Onion

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