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Dead Pigeon At Bus Stop Moved A Little Overnight

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CHICAGO—Observing that the bird carcass seemed to have shifted several feet to the right in the past twenty-four hours, sources confirmed Monday that a dead pigeon at a bus stop near Jackson and State moved a little overnight. “Huh, it definitely seems like it was closer to that cigarette butt in the corner yesterday,” said commuter Ron Singh, who went on to suggest that the pigeon’s body might have been accidentally kicked by a few riders or briefly dragged by a rat. “It’s also kind of squished more than it used to be. So it could have gotten stuck under a roller suitcase. I guess it could even be a different dead pigeon? But that’s probably not right.” At press time, sources were unable to speculate further about the pigeon after their bus for work arrived.

The Onion

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