GREENSBORO, NC—Receiving the go-ahead from his typically strict owner, local terrier-beagle mix Montgomery Pickles, 7, was reportedly allowed to eat whatever he wanted from the sidewalk Tuesday since it was his birthday. “Go for it—I’m not going to keep you away from any trash today, my little birthday boy,” pet owner Joe Barron said as he used the edge of his boot to hold a styrofoam container of discarded chicken wing bones open for the dog to gobble up, avoiding their usual leash tug-of-war over the choking hazards. “No rules today, buddy—you find it, you can eat it. Fritos bag? Sounds good to me. Flattened, rotting rat carcass? I don’t find that appetizing myself, but I’m not going to judge. Whatever you decide to do with that pile of vomit is totally up to you on your special day. I’ll just look away until you decide you’re done.” At press time, sources confirmed Barron and Pickles were continuing the celebrations late into the night in the veterinary emergency room.
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