LAS VEGAS – Nevada citizens have reported worrying, as earlier today the entertainment and arts venue known as The Sphere reportedly began opening at the top, and is continuing at a gradual pace.
“Um, is it supposed to do that? Oh, maybe it’s a visual trick being projected onto the surface, like when they made it look like the surface of Mars. That makes sense,” said local blackjack dealer Dylan Myles, seemingly ignorant of the Sphere’s shadow slowly creeping over top of him.
Currently, no one has has reported any idea as to the cause of The Sphere’s movement, including its management. Lisa McQuire of the Sphere Entertainment Company has gone on record stating that their search for an explanation has turned up more questions than answers.
“We thought it was just a hidden feature that would allow for open-air events, but no one on-site remembers pressing any buttons or anything,” explained McQuire. “Then we found out more troubling facts, like how the architect disappeared years ago, the building should be using three times more power than it has been, and the projection team said they’d only been programming it to display butterflies on the surface and definitely NOT those creepy eyes that keep popping up now and again.”
While most Las Vegas residents and tourists report going about their days as the ominous event is occurring, some are starting to wonder if they should be worried. “I just passed by a third cult meeting, worshiping whatever is inside the dome,” local dancer Eve Osscura told the press. “This one was about how U2 will emerge from the dome to bless the faithful with immortality.”
“If this is supposed to be promoting the next UFC fight, I really don’t get it.”
Las Vegas Police have attempted to obtain aerial reconnaissance of the opening, but report that all recording devices used on The Sphere have mysteriously shorted out. As well, all attempts to look at it directly The Sphere have resulted in immediate blindness followed by memory loss.
Currently, officers are advising residents to stay away from the venue, to only watch it open from a safe distance, and to disregard any ominous voices that appear to be coming from inside The Sphere.
“We’re really low on ideas on how to deal with this thing,” Police Captain Markus Dodds admitted. “A few officers tried firing warning shots, but the bullets just seemed to disappear inside of it.”
Currently, all events at The Sphere are expected to go on as scheduled, as the venue suddenly beginning to unfold itself is not covered in their cancellation policy.
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