ROCHESTER, MN—Saying it would be a great way for them to hang out together and bond as a couple, local girlfriend Tasha Emerson reportedly signed herself and her boyfriend Doug Purdom up for medical school this week. “Oh, come on, don’t roll your eyes—I think we’ll really like becoming licensed medical professionals together,” said Emerson, adding that the cadaver dissections, clinical rotations, and board exams would all be great ways to spend more quality time together and break out of their usual routine. “Plus, it’ll be fun. I know you think it sounds dumb, but I already put down $130,000. Besides, it’s really only four years of medical school, three to seven years of residency, and another couple years for a fellowship. And just so you know, my ex was always down to go to medical school with me. If it’s not something you’re into, I guess I’ll just go alone.” At press time, sources reported that Emerson had tearfully informed Purdom that she had already completed her M1 without him and was currently sleeping with her attending physician.
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