Jesus' Coming Back

Spoon found on counter probably clean enough

NORTH BAY – Nathan Pike who lives alone discovered a spoon on his counter and decided it was clean enough to use.

Pike then plunged the spoon into a container of sugar to grab a half scoop, stirred the sugar into his coffee and then licked the spoon before setting it back down onto the counter. Pike claims he could not remember what the spoon was first used for, when it was left on the counter, how long it had been there or when the last time the counters had been wiped down.

“I’ve spent my whole life using counter spoons and it’s never made me sick” explained Pike. “Like I’ve even found a knife found in the peanut butter jar, once you lick it, it’s clean enough to stick in the mayonnaise. I don’t understand why people bother with dishwashers.”

Public Health Agency of Canada director and infectious disease expert, Manon Flowers, says that there are dangers to using utensils that look clean enough. “Most people don’t recognize the dangers in their own home,” said Flowers. “After you touch something, it becomes contaminated forever, so it’s best to never use anything twice. It’s why we only suggest using disposable plates, cutlery, and kitchens.”

At press time, Pike had accidentally peed on the floor but since his sock absorbed most of it, it was like it never happened.

Beaverton

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