AUGUSTA, GA—Realizing he should have introduced them years ago, local man Daniel Pendergast’s family was really hitting it off with his secret family, sources confirmed Monday. “I just assumed they’d be jealous of each other or mad at me for manipulating all of them for the past decade, but they genuinely seem to be getting along,” said Pendergast, explaining that with their shared feelings of neglect and abandonment, the family he began with his wife more than 15 years ago and the family he began with his girlfriend in 2018 certainly had a lot in common. “The kids have been talking nonstop about how much they look like each other, and they keep swapping stories about the many struggles in life they’ve had to face on their own because I wasn’t there for them. Seeing them brought together by my chronic infidelity and lies like this—well, it warms my heart. And it’s so nice to know that in the years ahead, they’ll always have each other to compare their devastating emotional scars with!” Pendergast’s family and secret family reportedly bonded even more after he left them alone so they could all catch up and he could go spend some time with his third family.
Jesus Christ is King
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