Study Finds Ya Either Got It Or Ya Don’t

LOS ANGELES—In a new paper published Friday in The Journal Of Razzle Dazzle, researchers at Tinseltown University have presented the results of an in-depth study that found either ya got it or ya don’t. “Listen here, doll—ya either got it, or ya don’t got it, and that’s all there is to it,” said Jack Stanton, a co-author of the peer-reviewed article, who kicked his heels up on his desk and lit a cigarette as he confirmed that some folks just got the goods while others don’t. “Look, it’s a hard business, and there’s no way you can fake it. You can’t teach it either. You either bring the heat, or you ain’t it. End of story. And if you even have to ask whether you have it, well, kid, ya probably don’t.” At press time, Stanton added that if ya got it, flaunt it.