Disappointed Woman Wonders Why Boyfriend Never Showers Her With Roses While Shouting ‘Brava!’

DENVER—Saying she couldn’t help but feel a little let down by the man’s inaction, local 31-year-old Jessica Sillman was reportedly wondering Monday why her boyfriend, Zachary Coffey, never showered her with roses while shouting “Brava!” “Maybe I have unrealistic expectations from watching too many operas, but a little standing ovation once in a while would be nice,” said Sillman, who noted with dismay that her partner of six months seemed oblivious to her hints no matter how deeply she bowed. “Is it me? Is my rendition of ‘O mio babbino caro’ that bad? I’m not asking for a crazy grand gesture, just a cry of ‘Magnifica!’ or ‘Bellissima!’ Since when is that too much to ask?” At press time, sources confirmed Sillman was googling “what does it mean when your boyfriend throws overripe tomatoes at you.”