Naïve Woman Asking About Boyfriend’s Video Game Has No Idea Dark Precedent She’s Set

PLANO, TX—Unwittingly condemning herself to a devastating fate, local naïve woman Amita Collins reportedly asked a question Tuesday about the video game her boyfriend was playing, having no idea of the dark precedent she had just set. “This poor fool doesn’t realize she has encouraged her boyfriend to hold forth on a subject he can and will talk about for hours at a time for the duration of their relationship,” a sources told reporters, saying Collins apparently didn’t understand that when she asked, “So you have to fight that guy?” she had all but ensured her partner would spend years engaging her in continuous conversations about game mechanics, the video game industry, and the merits of different gaming consoles as they have evolved across their many generations of manufacture. “The floodgates have been opened. She was only mildly interested in the fact that her boyfriend “was riding a horse in this one,” and now she will have no choice but to learn what a hitbox is and be told everything there is to know about the Unreal Engine. Perhaps worst of all, she used to be blissfully ignorant of the fact that video games constituted the bulk of his personality, and now she’ll be forced to accept him for what he is: an emotionally stunted man-child who was brought to tears the day he first beat Elden Ring.” The source went on to state that unbeknownst to her, Collins had essentially agreed to have a Zelda-themed wedding.