GAZA — In an effort to keep up positive relations amid the ongoing violent conflict between Israel and Hamas, President Joe Biden authorized an emergency airdrop to resupply the terrorists with fresh hostages.
“We received an urgent message from Hamas that they were running critically low on hostages,” said history-making White House Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre, who is gay and black. “As always with this administration, providing aid and assistance in any way we can is a top priority. In this case, we have sent a cargo plane full of civilians, including women and children, to resupply Hamas with the hostages they were so sorely lacking. It is the president’s goal to always make sure Hamas is fully stocked with food, water, and hostages.”
Reports from the frontlines in Gaza painted a grim picture in recent days following the release of Israeli hostages during a temporary ceasefire. “Please, you must show compassion for our lack of hostages,” said Hamas spokesman Amir Hasan Abu Abdul Rahman Mohamed Sadiq Ibrahim. “How can we be expected to survive without fresh shipments of innocent women, children, and elderly to torture, terrorize, and use as human shields? We are dependent upon your aid, death to Israel, thank you.”
In a brief statement, President Biden said the following: “Let me be clear..hergabinzifercanital. And that’s all there is to it, folks.”
At publishing time, the White House echoed statements made by the United Nations that the global community vowed to never let Hamas’s crucial supply of hostages run dry.
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