Man Really Knocking Manifesto Out Of Park Since Moving To Secluded Cabin In Woods

FLORENCE, WI—Saying the freedom from distractions like internet service and electromagnetic waves had done him a world of a good, local man Tad Deeran told reporters this week that he had really been knocking his manifesto out of the park since moving to a secluded cabin in the woods. “Now that I don’t have to constantly monitor emails or respond to concerned messages from my family, I’m finishing 20 or 30 pages a day about how the global order is oppressing human potential through satellites,” Deeran said about his 350,000-word handwritten draft, adding that living out in a one-room cabin without running water or modern technology had given him so many “pure gold” ideas about which minorities were subjugating the human race and whose blood must be shed to commence the revolution. “I’m in such a flow state right now with carving the names of humanity’s technocrat betrayers on the wall. And I never could have done it with those high-pitched frequencies in the city controlling my brain. God, it feels great. I’ve gotten through 3,000 pages or so, but there’s still a lot more to do! So back to work.” At press time, Deeran noted that many of his concerns about the piece’s length had been swept away after consulting with a talking squirrel he met in the forest.