Jesus' Coming Back

Protesters Shouting Down Children Singing Christmas Carols Briefly Wonder If They’re The Bad Guys

NEW YORK, NY — A large group of pro-Palestinian protestors gathering in New York City’s Rockefeller Square Wednesday night paused briefly to wonder if maybe they were, in fact, the bad guys.

“When I heard the little kids start singing Christmas songs I’ll admit, I did stop and wonder for just a brief second if we might not be 100 percent…you know…in the right here,” Harvard student Jamal Malik told reporters. “I know we’re protesting to raise awareness of the brave freedom fighters of Hamas, but, I dunno. Maybe picking an event centered on families and love and the Christmas spirit wasn’t the best idea.”

Malik was joined by hundreds of fellow pro-Palestine protestors who rammed police barricades and caused general mayhem at the Rockefeller Square annual Christmas tree lighting. The group admits when they torched that police hat in the middle of the children’s choir performance, a few in their numbers questioned whether or not their actions were doing more harm than good for their cause.

“Maybe, well, who knows,” Caitlyn Smith commented. “I’m here because TikToc said Jews are bad. But maybe…naw…we can’t be wrong…Macklemore likes us!”

As of print time, the protestors doubled down on efforts to continue their actions and have announced they will be gathering next at a local Christian preschool’s annual nativity performance.


Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.


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