Brought to you by: Cigar Place
Studies have shown that there is never a “bad” time to fire up a cigar, but there are some instances when it’s just more enjoyable or impactful than others.
To enhance your smoking experience, The Babylon Bee offers up the following list of best times to light up your cigar:
- While catching your newborn son as he’s delivered: You deserve it, Dad!
- Pre-cigar cigar: Gotta warm up your lungs for the main event.
- Chillin’ with the boys on your Higgins boat getting ready to storm Juno Beach: Those Nazis called down the thunder, and now they’ve got it.
- Post-cigar cigar: Cool down from your smoking experience with a nice, calming cigar.
- In the middle of an important work meeting about appropriate workplace behavior: They’ll know who’s really in charge.
- Bottom of the 9th, World Series, coming up to the plate with 2 outs and you’re the winning run: Smoke it all the way around the bases after you crush a homer, then put it out on home plate.
- While shirtless and mowing down an entire platoon of South American mercenaries with an M60 machine gun: Once you’re done, get to the chopper!
- When you go on an angry tirade to your newspaper staff about that no-good pest Spider-Man: You can finally show the entire city what a menace that guy is if that lazy Peter Parker would ever get you a decent photograph of him.
- While your wife says “I think you smoke too many cigars”: Once she sees how cool and relaxed you feel lighting up your next cigar right in front of her, she’ll be totally cool with it.
As you can see, while any time is a good time to light up, some moments are just tailor-made for it. Now, get out there, find yourself one of these common life experiences, and start puffing away.
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Cigar Place reserves the right to substitute cigars of comparable or greater value in the event that a cigar within the sampler becomes unavailable.
Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.
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