Jesus' Coming Back

Sunset Couldn’t Possibly Get Any More Majestic – OH MY GOSH IT’S MORE MAJESTIC OH MAN IT GOT EVEN BETTER

U.S. — A beautiful visual delight was witnessed today as the sun set over the horizon, dazzling onlookers. What began as a simple setting of the sun to mark the end of another day soon set the sky ablaze with a wondrous array of colors and an awe-inspiring canvas.

Sources say the sunset was– OH MY GOODNESS!!! It just got even MORE SPECTACULAR! Look at the colors! Friggin’ orange and YELLOW! And, wait a moment, is that? YES! PINK! It’s almost fluorescent! HOLY CRAP! It’s so beautiful that one could make the case that human eyes don’t deserve to observe such wonder, and yet no living soul could bring themselves to look away!

It appears to be nearing its end now, and as the OH WAIT, THE SUN ITSELF IS NOW A BLAZING BALL OF FIRE DESCENDING INTO THE HORIZON!!!!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOO HOOOOOO!!!!!! How can mere humans contend with the fact that this cosmically amazing event happens EVERY FREAKING DAY?

THE ENTIRE SKY IS NOW ON FIRE WITH UNSPEAKABLE BRILLIANCE AT THIS MOMENT! NO MERE MORTAL CAN COUNT HIMSELF WORTHY TO OBSERVE SUCH SPLENDOR! WOE TO YOU, HUMANS! YOU ARE UNDONE! FORGET YOURSELF AND REPENT IN DUST AND ASHES IN THE PRESENCE OF THE INEXPRESSABLE GREATNESS OF THE ONE WHO CREATED THIS GLORIOUS SUNSET!

At publishing time, the sunset had given way to an even more awe-inspiring array of stars.


Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.


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