NEW YORK—As part of its human resources department’s office-wide mental health initiative, local company Bergamo and Associates reportedly offered its employees a wellness seminar Tuesday that taught them how to practice mindful acceptance of their upcoming pay cuts. “With the constant demands and distractions of the workplace, we wanted to give our employees a chance to simply stop for a moment this morning and take a deep, grounding breath as we told them we’re cutting their pay,” said HR representative Bryce Powers, who cited daily stressors like deadlines, emails, and unilateral wage reductions that make the business appear more profitable than it actually is as some common triggers for anxiety at the company. “It’s important our employees know how to practice ‘living in the present’ and ‘focusing on the now’ so that they’re more adequately able to process the news of a 25% across-the-board salary decrease and don’t waste their energy worrying about future problems like how they will never, ever be receiving a promotion. Our employees are also encouraged to administer hourly check-ins with themselves so they can learn to be nonjudgmental observers of their thoughts and feelings in regards to their income being slashed—especially considering the complete lack of bonuses this year. These tools will help them more easily accept and react to the news that they’ll have to dip into their child’s college fund, and will ultimately allow them to cultivate gratitude to us for letting them stay on at all.” At press time, the company’s HR department was seen handing out stress-reducing coloring books to every employee who was about to get laid off.
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