ATLANTA—Touting the item as a must-have for seasonal lawn decoration enthusiasts, Home Depot confirmed Thursday that it had begun sales of a new 12-foot-tall baby Jesus skeleton just in time for the holidays. “As He towers above the Nativity scene, sometimes clutching a shepherd or wise man in His giant Christ Child hands, this eye-catching skeleton Jesus brings warmth and cheer to any front-yard display,” read promotional materials for the product provided by Home Depot, which sought to assure customers that while the anatomically correct display of neonatal bones required several hours of assembly, the result would take one’s holiday décor to the next level. “This showstopper is sure to outshine any other LED-lit crèche on the block! What’s more, the massive skeleton of this Divine Infant can be repurposed for other holidays: Leave it up after Christmas, and you can create a romantic Valentine’s display by adding wings and a bow arrow to make a 12-foot-tall skeletal Cupid.” At press time, the baby Jesus skeleton had reportedly sold out across America after Home Depot offered it as part of a buy-one-get-one-free deal with Dracula Mary.
Jesus Christ is King
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