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NASA Finds Strong Evidence Of Red On Mars

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HOUSTON—Hailing the discovery as a major milestone in interplanetary exploration, NASA administrator Bill Nelson announced Thursday that the agency had found strong evidence of red on Mars. “After careful analysis of the Martian soil collected by the Perseverance rover, we believe we’ve found very large deposits of red right on the surface of Mars—far more red than we ever expected,” said Nelson, describing how the rover had found most red concentrated at the planet’s poles, before adding that the red was very widely dispersed across the entire Martian surface. “Of course, some always believed that there might be orange on Mars. But this finding confirms the far more compelling hypothesis that Mars might contain the largest red reserves in the galaxy. We also found some preliminary evidence that Mars is round after detecting what appeared to be several curves.” Nelson went on to compare the breakthrough to the efforts of medieval explorers who found the earliest evidence of blue on Earth.

The Onion

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