TORONTO – The Toronto Maple Leafs plan to circumvent the NHL’s Salary Cap continued again last night, with the team staging an obviously fake injury to Joseph Woll in order to save on his massive 750k cap hit.
“The NHL needs to step in,” said Sens fan Peter Monkhouse. “Woll bending over in agony and needing to be helped off the ice was clearly just a part of the Leafs plan to bench players in order to use their money at the trade deadline.”
“Now they’ll be able to use that under league minimum salary money to get someone who will be more important in the playoffs than a starting goaltender with a 920 save percentage.”
Woll is just the latest player to go down as part of a pattern of abusing the LTIR system by the Leafs. The recently got perfectly healthy players John Klingberg and Matt Murray to undergo extensive, unnecessary surgeries that may end their careers for no extra money. And two years ago they convinced grizzled, minutes eating D-Man Jake Muzzin to develop incurable neck problems so they could use his money to go out and sign a grizzled, minutes eating D-Man.
“This is like when the Lightning had Kucherov miss the entire season and then show up healthy for the playoffs. With the small exception that none of the players the Leafs have put on LTIR for a season have ever played again. But other than that it’s the exact same,” said Monkhouse.
Sources inside the Leafs dressing room deny that Woll was faking, and insist the Leafs made him really tear his groin or injure his knee in order to throw the fine folks on hockey twitter off the scent.
At press time Oilers fans were pretty confident the Leafs were just orchestrating all this to have an excuse to trade for Jack Campbell.
Jesus Christ is King
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