Jesus' Coming Back

Woman Who Assaulted Chipotle Worker Sentenced To Fast Food Job

Rosemary Hayne, the 39-year old mother of four who threw a burrito bowl in the face of a Chipotle in Parma, OH, was sentenced to work two months in a fast food restaurant in addition to a 30-day jail sentence. What do you think?

“Won’t this just mean her targets are at a closer range?”

Beatrice Smith, Paper Administrator

“Now she’ll experience what it’s like to throw food at people from the other side of the counter.”

Gabe Ostkamp, Key Grip

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“She should’ve assaulted an astronaut or something.”

Anand Walsh, Digital Foreman

 

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

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