Walmart Replaces Smiley Face That Rolls Back Prices With Frowny Face That Rolls Prices Forward

BENTONVILLE, AR — Executives from mega-retailer Walmart announced today they will replace their iconic smiley face that rolls back prices with a frowny face that travels around the store rolling prices forward.

“With inflation so high, we just don’t have much use for Smiley, the ubiquitous price rollback logo,” Walmart Marketing VP Duncan Jones told reporters. “Times have changed; we’re now introducing a sad face named ‘Frowny’ we’ll use to alert people when product prices increase. It helps communicate to customers that we are also sad about prices going up.”

Frowny is set to hit stores at the beginning of the year 2024. The large yellow sad face signs will initially be affixed to common household goods like eggs and milk to help ease the blow of further expected price hikes. Walmart also plans to shoot a series of new commercials showing Frowny forlornly bouncing around the store as he doubles prices.

“I’ll sure miss that happy face,” said Walmart customer Dale Rumkis of Hixson, TN. “I loved how he dressed as Zorro and slashed prices. What a cool guy. I have a feeling we’re going to be seeing a lot of Frowny. It’s a sad day.”

A long-time part of Walmart’s branding, Smiley is reportedly hoping to make a comeback if Biden loses the election.

Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.

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Babylon Bee