MANCHESTER, NH—Taking a quick headcount before they left to attend a town hall with the White House hopeful, all of presidential candidate Nikki Haley’s supporters reported they were delighted Monday to fit into a single UberXL. “Oh, perfect, all six of us should be able to go in one XL!” said registered Republican Michelle Perko, addressing every American voter who currently supports the former U.N. ambassador’s candidacy as she explained the ride to the event would cost each of them $2 if they shared the same Chevy SUV. “Phew, I was worried we’d have to split up into two cars, and that would have cost a lot more… Okay, wait, Dana and Colin just switched to Trump, so we may actually be able to order a regular Uber and save even more money.” At press time, sources confirmed every remaining Haley supporter had joined forces with every full-time member of the candidate’s staff to split a single UberXL to the town hall.
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