SAN RAMON, CA—Claiming he had barely hurt himself when he fell and suffered a leg fracture earlier that day, local dad Jeffrey Flannigan insisted Friday that he stand for the entire ambulance ride to the hospital. “Oh, please, I don’t need a stretcher or my vitals taken or anything like that—I’m totally fine to just hold onto the handrails with all of you until we get there,” said the 68-year-old, adding that the ride was only 15 minutes from door to door, so he didn’t need his leg stabilized or any painkillers. “Please, you all are treating me like I’m dying, but I promise you it’s way more comfortable for me if I stand. How about this, sweetie? Why don’t you take the stretcher, and I’ll just drive in my own car and meet you there. All I need is some Advil, a beer, and a good night’s sleep, and I’ll be good as new.” At press time, Flannigan had reportedly been transported to the hospital, at which point he insisted to the doctor that his wife was being dramatic, tried to walk on his broken leg, and immediately fainted from pain.
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