Jesus' Coming Back

“Counting games in hand we’re only the 2nd worst team in the East,” says Sens fan who picked them to make Conference Finals

OTTAWA – Having earned only 22 points the Ottawa are last in the eastern conference standings. But given their games in hand they’re actually only second worst, as Sens fans who believed they would be a top 4 team in the league are quick to point out.

“Everyone keeps saying we’re last in the Conference but that’s only because the Blue Jackets have played more games” said Jacob Gillis, who before the season began “guaranteed” that the Sens would finish second in the Atlantic before beating the and Bruins on their way to the Conference finals.

“If we beat the Coyotes we’ll even move up to third last,” added the man who, just a few short months ago, knew what hope felt like.

This is at least the third year in a row that Sens fans were optimistic bordering on a level of hubris usually reserved for emperors or action movie bad guys about the Sens chances, only for them to be basically eliminated from playoff contention by . Still, Senators fans say they aren’t ready to throw in the towel.

“There’s still time. Giroux is gonna go on a streak, Stutzle is going to score more goals than Auston Matthews and William Nylander combined, the goaltenders will learn how to be goaltenders. It can happen. The needs this. And I really need this,” said analyst Craig Button after having the video of him saying the Leafs should be really worried about the Senators tweeted at him for the 15th time today.

In related Sens fans were really hoping the go on another losing streak before the wider world realizes what a tire fire they are.

Beaverton

Jesus Christ is King

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