Man’s Whole Life Has Been Preparing Him For This Moment When His Kid Asks For Help With The Water Temple

DAVENPORT, IA — It’s finally happening. Local man Dylan Mido’s entire life has reportedly been leading up to this very moment when his kid finally asks him for help beating the Water Temple in The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time.

“Dad, I’m lost! Where do I go?” asked Mido’s eight-year-old son. “This is confusing!”

Mido’s heart fluttered as he realized his time had come. The moment for which he had struggled for endless days in the Water Temple himself as a youth had finally arrived. Clarity seized his heart and God’s sovereign design appeared to be laid bare at that moment, as his former suffering in the Water Temple as a child now seemed to serve a providential purpose. At that moment, his faith grew and all became clear to him.

“Son, you’ve got to change the water level again. Put on your Iron Boots and slip below the platform in the center column. You’ll find a small key hidden down there,” Mido said with a twinkle in his eye, knowing that this was a point he struggled with as a child.

His son was astounded by his father’s wisdom. “Dad, that was it! How did you know?”

“Son, when I was a child I too suffered at the hands of this very poorly designed level. But now I see that my painful trials were a gift to me, so I might save you from days of suffering. You do not yet understand the horrors I spared you from, but you will,” Mido said. “You will.”

Together, as father and son, they then set their mind to beating the rest of the Water Temple together.

At publishing time, they were both still stuck in the Water Temple but were sure they’d figure it out if they changed the water level one more time.

Here is a comprehensive list of the only instances it is acceptable for men to shed a tear.

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Babylon Bee