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Single Woman At Game Night Paired With Dog Again

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PASADENA, CA—Persuaded to spend another evening playing board games with a handful of neighborhood couples, local single woman Beth Fritch was reportedly paired with the dog again. “I knew this was going to happen—we’re always the odd players out and forced onto a team,” Fritch said of Popcorn, the golden lab who she claimed usually had bad breath and no sense of personal space. “He’s so bad at all the games and just ends up falling asleep halfway through. We spent nearly 45 minutes explaining the rules of Scattergories to him, and he still didn’t get it. Just stared blankly and scratched his head. He’s also a sore loser. He was so aggressive when we lost charades one time that he was forced to go sit in the yard until he stopped barking. Plus, we have nothing in common other than being single, and all of our conversations seem totally one-sided.” At press time, the dog’s date had reportedly arrived.

The Onion

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