Computer-Aided Textual Analysis Of ‘The Night Before Christmas’ Backs Clement Clarke Moore As Original Author

A computer science professor specializing in machine-learning-aided authorship attribution investigated the long-disputed 1823 poem “The Night Before Christmas” in an effort to determine whether it was written by a Troy, NY landowner and professor Clement Clarke Moore or Henry Livingston Jr., a poet and farmer from Poughkeepsie, with the analysis concluding that the writing more closely resembled Moore’s body of work. What do you think?

“It’s going to take a lot more than cutting-edge technology to get me to care about poetry.”

Scott Brandsma, Scrap Disposer

“Why didn’t they just look at the photo on the back cover?”

Renee Simpkin, Culture Enthusiast

“I thought AI was supposed to take jobs that are useful?”

Bryan Gerlach, Systems Analyst

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King