GURNEE, IL— Claiming to finally have physical evidence of the legendary North American cryptid, sources confirmed Friday that a photo captured Bigfoot going down a log flume ride. “Now, you can see he is slightly blurred as the log is rapidly descending, but that is clearly Sasquatch himself,” said cryptozoologist Dell Robles, explaining that the image had sent a shockwave of excitement through the Bigfoot-hunting community, causing investigators to flock to the Great America Six Flags to attempt to purchase the Logger’s Run rider photo for $49.99. “Many critics are saying it’s probably just a bear on the ride, but bears don’t display the kind of childlike bliss of throwing your arms up in the air the way Bigfoot does in this image. We think he may have been drawn to this area in the first place because of his penchant for cotton candy, and stayed once he saw that guests can win a stuffed animal if they are able to knock enough bottles down with a heavy ball. We’re already getting this photo silk-screened onto some T-shirts.” At press time, another photo revealed Bigfoot dressed up in Old West clothing.
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