Jesus' Coming Back

The Onion’s Preview Of 2024’s Hottest Movies

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Originally slated to appear in the Andrew Garfield Spider-Man franchise, this iteration will finally see the classic Marvel character make the jump from comics to the screen and then out into the movie theater itself, where he’ll walk around, eating stray Raisinets off the ground and asking moviegoers for spare change.

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King

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