Lloyd Austin Fails To Disclose He Was Buried At Arlington National Cemetery

WASHINGTON—Declining to alert senior officials to his interment for nearly a week, Defense Secretary Lloyd Austin failed to disclose that he had been buried at Arlington National Cemetery, reports confirmed Monday. “I would like to apologize for not informing those in the White House, Congress, and the Pentagon that I had been laid to rest among the fallen soldiers at Arlington National Cemetery,” said the dirt-covered Austin, whose deputy defense secretary stated that even though she had assumed his duties, she had not been notified that her immediate superior had been placed six feet underground in the historic military graveyard. “I recognize that I could have done a better job ensuring the public was properly informed that I had been entombed against my will in an unmarked soldier’s grave.” At press time, Austin’s failure to disclose his burial had reportedly raised further questions about why President Biden wasn’t invited to the funeral.