Jesus' Coming Back

Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

Start Slideshow
Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

When you first start dating a man, topics will inevitably arise that simply feel too gross, intimidating, or personal to discuss. The Onion answers every embarrassing sex question women wish they could ask their boyfriend.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

Do you like it when I gnaw at your erection like corn on the cob?

Do you like it when I gnaw at your erection like corn on the cob?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

It can be hard to hear criticism of your sexual technique, but no, he does not.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

Why are some penises curved?

Why are some penises curved?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

That is the standard curse after being tricked by a goblin who promised you great riches.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

What kind of foreplay do you like?

What kind of foreplay do you like?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

Penetrative sex.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

Can you break your penis during sex?

Can you break your penis during sex?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

Only if you’re doing it right.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

Why are some men against using toys in the bedroom?

Why are some men against using toys in the bedroom?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

They lose value if you take them out of the package.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

What dirty nicknames can I call you during sex?

What dirty nicknames can I call you during sex?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

Bruce Springsteen, “The Boss,” Mr. Springsteen.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

Why do men have to use the restroom after having sex?

Why do men have to use the restroom after having sex?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

He needs a private room to call his mom.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

What should I do with your balls?

What should I do with your balls?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

Gently chew.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

It’s not a big deal. It happens to a lot of guys.

It’s not a big deal. It happens to a lot of guys.

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

Don’t patronize them. And that’s not a question.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

What does pleasurable sex feel like?

What does pleasurable sex feel like?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

This highly guarded secret must stay with the men.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

What does my vagina smell like?

What does my vagina smell like?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

Like a slow-cooked pot roast slathered in butter.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

What are you thinking about while making love?

What are you thinking about while making love?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

During sex, men primarily think about high-fiving their favorite professional sports players to celebrate their sexual victory.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

What is post-nut clarity?

What is post-nut clarity?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

A transcendent state in which you observe the entirety of space and time and every possible iteration of the future, before realizing you’re horny again.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

Does it hurt your thorax when I touch you here?

Does it hurt your thorax when I touch you here?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

Men are often shy about having their shiny, spiky thoraxes fondled, but they secretly love it.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

Why does your penis burst into flames after sex?

Why does your penis burst into flames after sex?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

Could you help me get this sweater unstuck from the inside of the dryer?

Could you help me get this sweater unstuck from the inside of the dryer?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

Yes. Yes they can.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

Do you think that it feels good when I do that?

Do you think that it feels good when I do that?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

Odds are he does.

Advertisement

Previous Slide
Next Slide

Did you pull out in time?

Did you pull out in time?

Image for article titled Embarrassing Sex Questions Women Wish They Could Ask Their Boyfriends

Definitively, no.

Advertisement

The Onion

Comments are closed.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More