VIRGINIA BEACH, VA—Regaling her friends with tales of promiscuity from her single life, local woman Erica Bennet reportedly referred to the sole “hi” she sent to a man on a dating app Wednesday as a “ho phase,” according to sources. “Truly in my ho phase, y’all,” the 29-year-old wrote in a group text with her girlfriends, describing herself as “such a little slut” for finally hitting send on the two-letter message to a Tinder match following weeks of deliberation. “Whatever, I’m single! I’m totally allowed to write ‘hi’ to as many men as I want. It’s time I finally let loose a little and engage in some harmless salutations with total strangers. If following up with a gif of Michael Scott makes me a complete fucking whore, so be it!” At press time, sources confirmed Bennet had not waited for the man to reply before panicking and deleting her Tinder account.
Jesus Christ is King
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