Prince Harry, Meghan Markle Announce Plans To Make Fortune With New Self-Storage Facility

MONTECITO, CA—Years after stepping back from their royal duties to live a more independent life and earn their own money, Prince Harry and Meghan Markle announced Friday their new plan to make a fortune running a self-storage facility. “Though it took some time, we finally scraped together enough cash to make an offer on a vacant lot down in West Covina, and we’re proud that Archewell Storage Co. is now open for business,” said the Duke of Sussex, who estimated the company would begin turning a profit within four years, at which point the Sussexes could start paying back what is reportedly a generous construction loan from Meghan’s aunt and uncle. “Right now, Meghan shows the units during the day, and I do cleanup at night. Full disclosure, we’re dealing with a bit of a rat problem at the moment, but rest assured your belongings are safe with us! We’re just working out the kinks. Who knows, if this goes well, then in 10, 12 years maybe we open a second location in Fresno.” Prince Harry went on to state that he had asked Elton John to write a radio jingle for Archewell Storage and that he hoped the singer-songwriter would get back to him really soon.