Scientists Find Clues About Why More Northern European Descendants Get MS

Findings from a project comparing modern DNA with samples from ancient human teeth and bones allowed scientists to find disease-linked genes following prehistoric migrations, tracing a path back to the Bronze Age Yamnaya people who probably carried the genetic mutation to protect the nomadic herders from infections carried by their livestock. What do you think?

“Damn. I really wanted to blame my mother’s poor prenatal diet.”

Gavin Perkins, Papal Understudy

“Are we positive ancient people weren’t designing viruses in labs?”

Kara Courtwright, Systems Analyst

“Haven’t Northern Europeans suffered enough?”

Rodney Rabenbauer, Freelance Trucker

The Onion

Jesus Christ is King