Kamala Harris Rigs Dummy To Look Like It Typing Anytime Someone Cracks Office Door

WASHINGTON—In an attempt to dupe others into believing she was in her office working rigorously at all hours of the day, Vice President Kamala Harris reportedly rigged up a dummy Tuesday to look as if it were typing anytime someone cracked the office door. According to White House sources, whenever the door was opened even the slightest bit, the plastic mannequin—which sat in the vice president’s chair and was dressed in a blazer and long brown wig—began clumsily slamming its hands against the keyboard and shaking its head while a recording played of Harris stiffly saying, “Sorry, I’m busy.” Reports indicated that aides and even President Joe Biden initially fell for the elaborate setup, but staffers became suspicious after several of the dummy’s strings snapped, causing it to fly out of the chair, hit the ground, lose its head, and respond to questions with loud crackling static. At press time, aides had rushed to inform the Secret Service of the breach, only to find that the agents on duty had also been replaced with dummies dressed in suits and hooked up to strings.