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Above all else, what pastors need these days is more criticism! Providing pastors with a constant stream of tips and suggestions is the key to building up the church and nourishing the pastoral soul. Here are nine excellent examples of helpful critiques to offer to your pastor today:
- “I wasn’t really feeling the worship this morning”: It’s helpful to clue in the pastor that his choice of hymns prevented you from praising the Lord of all creation.
- “You should cut the altar call thing, it’s getting repetitive”: More variety, less asking people to accept Christ’s grace and Lordship.
- “You don’t have as many programs as that big church across town. You should do more programs. I won’t volunteer, of course”: Once the pastor finds people to help him, it’ll be great.
- “The communion juice has to be Welch’s, not some generic knock-off”: Get it together, pastor.
- “I would really appreciate it if you stopped calling out my sin, thanks”: Gently remind your pastor that he should be a constant source of positivity, like that pastor Joel guy with the shiny teeth.
- “Here are 38 suggested amendments I have written for the church constitution and bylaws”: Your pastor will appreciate you doing his work for him.
- “I just… don’t feel like I’m, ya know, being fed lately”: Remind your pastor that he is at all times solely responsible for meeting the varying spiritual needs of all the people in his congregation.
- “Can you pray a little shorter? I’m bored”: Alerting the pastor to your boredom will encourage him to limit time spent sitting and focusing on God.
- “Your sermons could use more cowbell”: Your congregation has a fever, pastor, and the only prescription is more cowbell. Also, Jesus.
Your pastor will love hearing your opinion on what may seem like the most insignificant details of your church experience, so don’t hold back. After all, you’re the one he’s here to serve.
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Babylon Bee
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