Jesus' Coming Back

“WTF is happening today?” wonder drivers as white stuff falls from sky

WINDSOR, ON – In a baffling series of events, drivers in Southwestern Ontario are wondering “WTF is happening today?” as white stuff falls from the skies.

The day started as a typical grey and overcast day when local Jamica Ramos went out to run errands. As she entered Costco, there were no signs to prepare her for what happened next. By the time she emerged from her quick $300 pick a few things up trip, the ground was white and whatever caused it was quickly falling from the sky. It took Ramos a few minutes to recognize her car under the blanket of freezing alabaster dust.

“I accelerated into my turn to leave the parking lot so I could cut off the driver who was trying to leave before me, and then the back end of my car fishtailed,” a shocked Ramos explained. “I vaguely remember sky milky matter but I can’t seem to recall ever driving it in before.”

That was not the only unusual incident on her drive home. None of the speed limit signs were visible due to the ivory air fluffies covering them. Drivers had no way of knowing if the city speed limit was still 40 km/h or if it had decreased to 10 km/h or increased to 80 km/h. Police offered no advice and confirmed that if you can’t see it, they can’t charge you.

While on the phone with her sister, Ramos almost slid into the car in front of her when she slammed on her brakes and almost hit a pedestrian when she did a rolling stop to turn right onto her street. “She called today in an absolute panic that chalky dust was covering everything,” Ramos’ sister from Edmonton told us. “I tried to tell her that this happened to me weeks ago but still she thought the army should help with this natural disaster.”

Retired Weather Network presenter and author Clair St. Chris wanted to remind the public to stay calm as they have experienced this before. “This phenomenon is called snow. It is quite common and nothing to be afraid of,” clarified St. Chris. “Drivers might not remember it cause it goes away in spring and then doesn’t return until late fall, but if you have driven in Southern Ontario over the last year, there would have been snow at some point.”

As drivers struggle to adapt to this change in road conditions, pedestrians and cyclists were told to maintain caution even as they experience this startling event without being in a climate controlled, moving steel box.

Beaverton

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