Excited British Public Tunes In For Live Broadcast Of King Charles’ Prostate Surgery

LONDON—Expressing excitement for the four-hour, star-studded, “once in a lifetime” event, 67 million British citizens tuned in Thursday to watch a live broadcast of King Charles III’s prostate surgery. “What a beautiful day to witness His Majesty standing before his subjects, donning a hospital gown, and going under for a minimally invasive procedure to remove a tumor on his prostate gland,” said 65-year-old Mary Davies, adding that she’d woken up at 7 a.m. and taken off work to watch as surgeons cut open the monarch’s prostate, removed a noncancerous growth, and then held it up as scrub-clad spectators stood by cheering and waving Union Jack flags. “I’ll admit, we were nervous at first when the doctor admitted that the tumor was larger than he initially thought, and then again when he accidentally nicked a vein. But afterwards, when His Royal Highness was all stitched up and had proved to the entire country that he could successfully urinate again, I couldn’t have been happier. Long live the king!” Earlier, the British press had been abuzz after Prince Harry flaunted the fact that he could freely and openly control his bladder while his father was back at home with a catheter in his penis.