Man Keeps Engagement Ring In Pocket Waiting For Right Moment To Be Publicly Humiliated

RACINE, WI—Saying he couldn’t wait to pop the question to the love of his life, local man Joseph Lefferts told reporters Thursday he had been keeping an engagement ring in his pocket and waiting for the right moment to be publicly humiliated. “Since buying a ring, I’ve been trying to figure out the best time to get down on one knee, ask her to marry me, and have my heart broken into a million pieces in front of all my friends and family,” said Lefferts, adding that for the past six months, he had been trying to decide between losing his dignity at a fancy restaurant, having his ego destroyed on a romantic trip, and planning a surprise party at which all his loved ones would gasp in horror when his longtime girlfriend quietly turned him down. “From the second I met her, I knew she’d be the one I’d eventually back into a corner, make incredibly uncomfortable, and give no choice but to say ‘Let me think about it’ when I asked her to be my wife. I can’t wait to finally look into her eyes and see nothing but panic staring back at me. Oh! Maybe I’ll even hire a photographer to document the worst day of my life!” At press time, Lefferts told reporters he was worried his longtime girlfriend had been tipped off to his proposal after she left a note on the fridge saying “I can’t do this anymore,” packed up her things, and blocked his number.