TORONTO – Several Toronto-area Liberal MPs have furiously accused the city’s newly-elected mayor of a devious and irresponsible plot to “actually advocate for Toronto”.
“How dare Chow try to get increased funding for Toronto, just because the people who live there voted for her,” exclaimed Etobicoke Centre Liberal MP Yvan Baker. “It’s completely the opposite of how things are done in Ottawa.”
Chow’s proposal to raise property taxes in order to cover a decade of budget shortfalls, plus asking Ottawa for increased funding to deal with Federally-approved refugees, has Toronto-area MPs fuming.
“What doesn’t Chow understand about the Canadian national motto – ‘Fuck Toronto’,” added Baker.
Across Ottawa, several Toronto-area MPs have echoed Baker’s frustration.
“Chow’s unreasonable demands to ‘help our constituents’ would really interfere with the Liberal strategy of coasting until Poilievre wins the next election and then disappearing into the private sector,” noted Scarborough-Rouge Park MP Gary Anandasangaree.
“How dare Chow try to raise property taxes,” exclaimed York South-Weston MP Ahmed D. Hussen. “She knows that’s where my investment properties are!”
“Wait, where is Toronto, again?” asked University Rosedale MP and Deputy Prime Minister Chrystia Freeland.
At press time, Ontario’s Provincial Government has responded to requests for incresed Toronto funding with a more concise, “Get fucked”.
Jesus Christ is King
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