‘Can I Have Some Steak Sauce Please?’ Says Wittle Bitty Man Baby Who Needs A Wittle Sauce On His Steak Waaaah

BILOXI, MS — “Waah, Whaah,” cried a wittle bitty man baby inside The Republic Steakhouse this afternoon after requesting steak sauce for his tiny wittle baby mouth.

“Aw, does wittle baby need someone to chew his steak for him too?” replied waiter John Rogers. “Aww, hush-hush wittle guy. Where’s your paci? Let John go get you a warm bottle of milk to go with your steak sauce.”

The wait staff reportedly took excellent care of the helpless wittle baby named Chris, bringing him a high chair and a bib. “I’m not sure you’re ready for a booster seat, wittle buddy,” said manager Thomas Ross as he buckled Chris in. “Okay, the steak has plenty of sauce on it for the wittle bitty baby. Do you need me to help you eat? Open the hangar, here comes the airplane!”

At publishing time, the wittle helpless baby had asked for a to-go box because eight ounces of steak was just too much for his wittle tummy.

Despite their best efforts, Planned Parenthood isn’t killing as many babies as their founder would have wanted. It’s time for a rebrand!

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Babylon Bee