TORONTO – Sesame Street character Oscar the Grouch has come under fire for setting unattainable housing goals for children by TV critic Madeline Wathers. Famously, Oscar the Grouch lives in a metal trash can.
“Oscar the Grouch is giving children aspirations that are wholly unrealistic and ultimately unattainable. The impossible dream of owning your own property, no matter how humble, is damaging to the next generation,” said Wathers. “No child watching Oscar will ever grow up to be able to afford a street-facing trash can in a city centre.”
Local real estate expert A.M. Dhillon said, “The average selling price for a residential garbage can in Toronto is now over 400k, up 22% from last year’s numbers. By the time these children will want to enter the market in twenty or so years, a garbage can will cost over 15 million dollars while the average minimum wage is projected to be 11$/hr. Yes, that’s right, lower than it is today.”
Reached for comment, Oscar the Grouch claimed, “Hey, don’t blame ME for YOUR problems! Now SCRAM!”
Neighbours say that Oscar has managed to maintain his current lifestyle because he owns all the buildings on Sesame Street and has doubled or tripled rental fees in recent years. Oscar’s luxury trash can also features a below-ground swimming pool, room for multiple elephants, and living quarters for his roommate, Slimey the Worm.
Local resident, Ernie, says, “My roommate, Bert, and I were renovicted 3 years ago and now we live in an unfinished basement apartment under Big Bird’s nest for over triple the price we used to pay for our old place. I even had to sell my rubber ducky to make rent last week.”
Sesame Street is working on introducing a new character in response to changing times. Next year we will see a new resident muppet: Grampsy, a retiree who has owned his own home for years but has to share it with his seven grandchildren who can’t afford to live anywhere else.
TV critic and landlord Wathers added, “Don’t get me started on taking dietary advice from a monster who only eats cookies!”
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