FAA Inspector Successfully Identifies Airplane

WASHINGTON—Following the grounding of Boeing 737 Max 9 jets after a midair blowout on an Alaska Airlines flight, an inspector for the Federal Aviation Administration reported Monday that he had successfully identified an airplane. “After careful evaluation, I can state with a reasonable degree of confidence that what we’re looking at is a plane,” said inspector Alex Dhuey, checking the single box on his checklist and noting that the long metal tube with wings attached appeared characteristic of airplanes he’d seen in the past. “Now, it would understandable if an observer initially mistook this for a car, given that it has wheels on it. But upon further review, the presence of what appears to be not one but two jet engines confirms this is not an automobile. So while I can’t comment on whether the smoke pouring out of the windows or the visible flames in the cockpit constitute a fire, I can say with certainty that what we’re looking at is an aircraft of some kind.” After he had concluded his remarks, sources confirmed Dhuey had clocked out and gone home for the day.